Got Problems? How to Solve Them For Real.

Problems have a reputation for being things that happen to you. But every problem is also an opportunity: to practice responsiveness, to strengthen your problem-solving muscle, and to take back a piece of your power.

Here is a three-step process that works.

1. Stop Resisting and Start Responding

When a problem shows up, most people go into resistance. They focus on the injustice of the problem, the unfairness of it, the anger that it exists at all.

Resistance keeps you stuck. You stay on the hamster wheel of how wrong this is while the problem remains unsolved.

Responsiveness asks a different question: what can I do? Not who is to blame. What can I do right now to move this situation forward? That question has answers. The resistance spiral does not.

Your problems do not define you. Your responses to your problems do.

2. Use Your Voice

Half of the problems women carry could be resolved with a conversation they have been avoiding.

If the situation involves another person and their behavior, you are going to need to speak up. Not explosively. Directly and specifically. This is what is not working. This is what I need instead.

And if someone pushes back when you did not expect it, that is not failure. That is the test. Stay grounded in what you need.

3. Stick Your Landing

When you set a limit or speak up for what you need, there will be a test. The person you are dealing with will push back, ignore the request, or pretend nothing happened.

This is the moment most women backpedal. They give in to avoid the discomfort of being disagreed with. And the problem resets to where it started.

Stick your landing. Repeat the request. Hold the line. The discomfort of a momentary test is far less expensive than the ongoing cost of a problem you never resolved.

Power is not something you HAVE. It is something you DO.