How to Get Unstuck

Being stuck has a particular quality. You are doing things, filling days, going through the motions. But nothing is actually moving.

Here is how to step off the treadmill.

1. Stop Resisting the Circumstances of Your Life

Resistance is when you spend your energy being angry that a problem exists rather than solving it. You focus on the unfairness, the injustice, how wrong it is that you are in this situation.

Resistance feels like doing something. It is not. While you are focused on how wrong the situation is, the situation stays exactly as wrong.

Responsiveness asks: what can I actually do here? That question has answers. Work with those.

You can handle whatever life serves up. No matter what happens, you got this.

2. Stop Arguing for Your Limitations

There is a particular habit some women have of explaining, in great detail, why change is not possible for them specifically. The circumstances are too unusual. Things have been this way too long.

This is arguing for your limitations. And every time you make that argument, you win it. And you lose.

Your brain searches for evidence of whatever you believe. If you believe you are stuck, it will find you evidence. If you believe you can move, it will find you that instead.

3. Take One Step

You do not have to know the whole path. You do not have to have a plan for every step. You have to take the next one.

What is the smallest possible move you could make today that is in the direction of where you want to go? Not the bold dramatic gesture. The smallest actual step.

Take that step. Then look for the next one. Getting unstuck is a series of small consistent movements, each one making the next slightly easier.

Life is happening for you. And no matter what happens, you got this.