How to Connect With Your Power

Most women have a complicated relationship with the word power. It can feel aggressive, or like something that belongs to other people, bigger personalities, women who seem to move through the world without apologizing for taking up space.

That is not what power is. Power is quieter than that. It lives in three places you already have access to, and the way you manage those three things determines the quality of your life more than almost anything else.

1. What You Think

There is a voice in your head. You know the one. It runs constantly, cataloging your faults, reminding you of every mistake, telling you that you are not enough. You have been listening to it for so long it can feel like the truth.

It is not.

You cannot allow an insidious voice to live in your head all the time and expect to have a beautiful life. The first step to connecting with your power is to notice that voice and choose not to follow it. When it shows up, try this: oh hello, there you are. Thank you, no thank you. Then redirect to what you actually want to be thinking.

Power is not something you have. It is something you do.

2. What You Say

Speaking on your own behalf is one of the most powerful things you can do and one of the hardest. It has two parts.

The first is stopping self-criticism. Every time you talk badly about yourself out loud, whether to a friend, in a joke, or under your breath, you are reinforcing the thing you are trying to undo. Stop it.

The second is using your voice to ask for what you need, set limits, and say no when you mean no. What you do not say matters too. Every time you stay silent when you need to speak, it goes somewhere. Usually somewhere sideways.

3. What You Do

You cannot behave in conflict with what you want and expect to get it. This is the part that requires the most honesty. Look at your daily behavior and ask: is what I am doing moving me toward what I want or away from it?

You behave your way into the life you want. Not in one dramatic decision, but one action at a time, one choice at a time. Whatever is dying to come out of you, whatever you want to be or build or become, you can make it happen. You just have to line your behavior up with it and start.

Whatever is dying to come out of you, you can make this happen. You just have to behave your way into it.